It rocks!

Women are victims of a plot hatched by evil minds who meet in secret and decide what they call "fashion trends". Who are they? How do they do?

Well, I guess it comes Paco Rabanne and says:

- "I see, I see that this year is going to take the blue oil." And hop duo Victorio and Lucchino:

- "Hear, hear. And the sweaters, tank tops, but turtlenecks, and fuck them. "

And for fucking date! Because fashion is not an industry. It is a cult run by fagots! And of those people who hate us what can we expect? ... If we do go with these pants that snap on the rump and make us believe that we are doing well (they do sell thongs minimum and lace panties-overlapping-).

Do you know what are the fashion victims? They are women who have fallen into their networks and can no longer escape. Such that when approaching a window, heard voices in his head: "The power of fashion makes you", "The Power of Dior will govern."

Actually, I realized the power of this cult when I tried to buy a red dress. Sounds easy, right? A red dress.

Well, no. Because the stores are in the know! They are the representatives of Dior on earth. And of course, I come and tell the clerk:

- I wanted a red dress.

And let me go:

- Red? This year there is nothing in red. This year is teal.

- And that is why red?

- That's the cover of the fire extinguisher, but if you take her out.

This is how cults begin: canceling your will!

Because suddenly, I am saying:

- Okay, get me a blue oil of 38.

And then, the clerk looks at me like a Fiat Panda from a Porsche Cayenne:

- Is 38? You're between 40 and 42.

Sure, I looked at her as saying: "And you're between asshole and silly ass"

But I said:

- Sorry, I'm 38.

- No, if you. But this year is the 38 beat, you know?

And that's the second step of the strategy of the sect: Lower your self-esteem to better dominate.

There, I said:

- That I do not get caught. I tasted the 38 although I have to put the thread!

And of course, you look in the mirror and see what you see. A sausage. A blue sausage oil.

And I say: if the world a meter is a meter and a kilo is a kilo, why size 38 is not always a size 38? You go to Carrefour and size 38 is the King can put Africa and yet, Versace and you do not wear it or Melody.

Overall, I did what we all: take it. Yes, because we all thought that: "It forced me to lose weight." "I force myself to lose weight."

Are we idiots? Within two weeks you're forced to give it to your niece. It's like buy shoes from 34 to force you to shrink your foot!
But that's another symptom that you are entering the sect voluntarily submit yourself to physical suffering. Although, sometimes when you're not abducted at all, manage to have a lucid moment and say, "No, I am." And so evil that it sent the clerk tells you the final sentence:

- Take it, do not be silly, you can return it!

And we bought it! As you can return ... That's like eating a piece of carpet: as you can return!

So I went home with my blue dress of the 38 oil. I wear it and I ask my husband:

- How do I have?

- Small.

- Yes? Can I make a lot?

- We will make sores.

Then I said: "Tere moderate. This is another test. The cult of fashion want you to break ties with your environment. " "No, not going to be me!"

I rushed into the street and not stop until I found the only red dress that was in the city. When I saw him, I said, "I'll buy it!

Do you give to Paco Rabanne! Victorio And Lucchino not give! "Ha! And I left the shop in triumph, with my red dress.

But the joy I took two windows. It's something that happens to us all. Suddenly, you come the world over: "Damn, what do I do with a red dress, if this year takes the blue oil?"

Hey, I could not sleep a wink all night ... I had nightmares ... I was in a black mass, bound hand and foot, and the great gurus of fashion, surrounding me like Poltergeist:

"Tereee. Veeen to the glamouuuuur. "Overall, I woke up soaked in sweat and said," Okay, okay! I surrender! "I complete smeared with Vaseline to enter the suit me, and I showed up at the wedding of my friend Jessi, dressed in blue oil.

When I reached the church I found that we were all equal ... There were more blue oil on a beach of the Gulf. Here you realize that you have captured, you have entered the sect, and from that moment Victorio and Lucchino to honor, not in vain nombrarás Chanel and Dior will love above all things.

PD. Does anyone can explain to me what the hell is the "blue oil"? It took centuries to understand that things can be colored bougainvillea, I now jodáis oil, please! Oil is black, like a cricket balls! (And pardon the expression ...)

It is not written by me, I kick em sent via e-mail hile was lost in the shit, I say at work